They lie on the table side by side
The Holy Bible and the TV guide.
One is well worn and cherished with pride.
Not the Bible, but the TV guide.
One is used daily to help folks decide.
No, not the Bible, but the TV guide.
As the pages are turned, what shall they see.
Oh, what does it matter, turn on the TV.
Then confusion reigns, they can’t all agree
On what they should watch on the old TV.
So they open the book in which they confide,
No, not the Bible, but the TV guide.
The Word of God is seldom read,
Maybe a verse as they fall into bed.
Exhausted and sleepy and tired as can be;
Not from reading the Bible, from watching TV.
So then back to the table side by side,
Lie the Holy Bible and the TV guide.
No time for prayer, no time for the Word,
The plan of Salvation is seldom heard.
But forgiveness of sin, so full and free,
Is found in the Bible, not on TV.
Choose which book will rule your family.
~The author is unfortunately "unknown" and the TV Guide is now
The Cable Guide and you get to it by pressing the "guide" button~
Well ya got a point, pastor. I have no TV Guide, and I get no Cable Guide either. I’m on the cheapy plan. I don’t read a whole lot for fun, either, but I manage to collect a lot of books. Here’s my stack, sitting right about where you’d expect to find it. Starting from the top:
Well, on the top of the stack is my blessed AT&T cellular phone, just in case someone calls when I’m on the internet.
Below that, the last book I was trying to read, and it looks to be about 2/3 done, is The Authentic Life Of Billy The Kid, by Pat F. Garrett. This is possibly the least fictional account of William H. Bonney’s adventures in the great American southwest. There was much politicking over land, cattle, water, and the like, and right and wrong, often substantially altered by murder, and not just in Lincoln County, New Mexico. Bonney just happened to be good at it, and his friend Pat Garrett just happened to become the Sheriff of Lincoln County and ended up killing him.
Below that are two 8-1/2×11 sheets of paper which summarize the only documentation I received with this refurbished Dell Optiplex computer.
Below that is the 1991 editon of the Chrysler sound systems manual. I took the 1991 Chrysler sound system out of the corresponding pickup truck, and I know it’s in here somewhere. Note: if the radio does not come on, you can’t change the time on the clock. If you disconnect the battery for any reason, your clock will never be right, and there’s nothing you can do about it, so you may as well take it out. The wires are dangling out the hole where the radio was.
Below that is another book, The Bawdy House Girls, A Look At The Brothels Of The Old West, by Alton Pryor. I met Mr. Pryor at a McMann’s Roadrunner gun show. He had a table there, where he was selling several books he has written about the old west. There’s no telling why I chose this one. I have not read it yet.
Below that is another book, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne. This was a supposed cult classic that my sisteh wanted to apply in her own life. I didn’t read much of it. I suspect "the secret" boils down to: you know who you know, you get what you get, and you are what you eat.
Below that, King James! And below that, the God’s Word translation. I was making fine progress with King James, which I’ve had for many years, but I was persuaded by a little voice on the internet to get a more modern English version. The Bible has some validity as a historical text, even though we know it was changed to reflect political realities of the times on occasion. I’d have to build a map, the way some people build model railroad landscapes in their basements, to get a better handle on the geography. I was trying to discover the kind of people we were in 1775, and 1789, and from that, who we are supposed to be now. Somewhere in the book of Isaiah the prophet, God was supposed to hammer just about everybody in the known world, and that’s where I slipped in my reading.
The pastor’s point is well taken, in view of the time I spend shuffling through the things that appear in my real mailbox. I spend more time paying bills than I spend reading scripture. The most fascinating publication in my mail which I look through immediately without fail is the Smoky Mountain Knife Works catalog (they are on line, too) and at night before I go sleepy I try to catch up on my reading with back issues of Heavy Metal. I am about a year behind, because in the issue I’m reading, they are advertising 2009 calendars. It’s a kind of comic book. I call it "space porn comics." It’s got nothin’ to do with nothin’ but I started reading it when they started publishing it in 1976. Yep, I’m warped, pastor. Not hopeless, just out there.