Back in the early days of Saturday Night Live, at the end of the Weekend Update skit with Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin, they used to do a recap of the top story for the hearing-impaired with Garrett Morris in a bubble in the corner of the screen. One or the other would say, "Our top story tonight," and Garrett would shout, "OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT."
Our top story this morning is not the 6.0 earthquake that just now hit Haiti, but that’s a problem too. The 82nd Airborne has landed Blackhawks on the president’s lawn in Haiti. No, not Obama’s lawn. But there’s aid happening. In the case of Haiti, that could be perpetual aid forever, so someone has to decide when the crisis is over. Because it seems the crisis is never over in Haiti. Expect to have neighbors from Haiti soon.
Our top story this morning is Scott Brown, the new senator from Massachusetts. Yes we can. Stuff like this makes the market go "wheeee!" We still have to follow through but this is such a great moment, you know, Peggy Noonan used to say we should savor this moment. Because cap and trade is on the rocks. I’m referring to the Clean Energy Jobs and American Power Act sponsored by the other senator from Massachusetts, and that’s just one example. This is like totally the first time I can remember lately that we have a good reason to thank the people of Massachusetts. The last time was when the New England Patriots won their first Super Bowl. But we do not like dynasties around heah.
Wicked rain in California. The flower box is under water. The runoff is running off. The creeks are full, brown, and moving fast. Down south, mudslides. High winds blow things down sometimes but I haven’t seen any of that yet. Today the storms continue.
I am mindful that in some places it’s not warm enough for water to actually move.
BachelorNews? Jake is 31 and Elizabeth was 29. I haven’t gathered enough speculations from others but mine are… he didn’t like the way she played. She was cool, though. He called her "the queen of mixed signals" but I’m thinkin maybe Jake just didn’t know what he was looking at. She stood out real well, I thought. Bye, Elizabeth 29 nanny from Imperial, Nebraska now living in Los Angeles. I bet the boys are lined up outside your door today.
Not so for Michelle 25 office manager from Anaheim, who voluntarily blew it on the comedy club group date. Went all spacey on the stage, started telling Jake her problems with the process, and he sent or let go her unhappy self home. Bye Michelle. Bye Valishia 32 homemaker from Carlsbad. Not much to say there.
Jake’s new favorite? Maybe Ella 29 hairstylist from La Follette, Tennessee. Maybe Vienna 23 marketing representative from Sanford, Florida. Who knows what he wants? I’ll put my five dollars on Vienna. But last week I’d have put my five dollars on Elizabeth so who’s the meister here? Not me.
Listen to that wind.