comdude sings “My Toyota”

Peeking at the news I see Brian Westbrook is no longer a Philadelphia Eagle, and LaDainian Tomlinson is no longer a San Diego Charger.  What’s up with that? 
One time I bought a 1981 Toyota Tercel 5-speed hatchback.  I was in the Army, you know, and I figured with a steady paycheck I could pay for a car.  Wheels is a big deal when you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere.  So I found this second-hand Toyota.  Someone had bought it new and drove it for six months and sold it.  I’m sure I kept it for at least ten years. 
I drove it from Sacramento to Fort Riley, Kansas, and then across to Arkansas, and up to Detroit, I’m sure I drove it to Detroit twice.  I think I drove it back to Sacramento a couple of times, too.  I parked it by my apartment when I was in college, riding a bicycle.  I drove it up Highway 1, you know, up to Fort Ross, and what not.  It was kind of a tin can, really, but it drove like a sonofabitch.
One time on Fort Riley I broke the 5th gear.  That sucked.  Finally I was up in Toiyabe National Forest going up a hill on a logging road and it lost it’s testicle.  It only had one.  It couldn’t go up the hill.  I don’t know, I reckon I fixed it again. 
It had a strange clutch condition sometimes, the plastic teeth on the clutch pedal didn’t grab the plastic wheel right, to pull the clutch cable out, so you had to be careful with it.  I ended up parking it in my driveway where it sat for two years, until some kid wanted it.  We put a new battery in it, and it started up just like it was running yesterday.  We DMVed it, and the kid took it away. 
Today I can look back and say that car was a piece of $#!& really, but it did what I wanted it to do, quite a lot, most of the time, for a long long time.  I don’t think I will ever own another Toyota. 
So this new deal with the Toyota accelerator and what not, listen.  You buy this piece of $#!& and expect it not to have any $#!&&y characteristics.  What’s wrong wid you?  I drove my Toyota on a frozen lake.  Twice.  It was f*@#in’ cool.  But you can’t expect it will do all those tricks forever.  It had the tiniest wheels in the world.  13 inch.  I bet it’s still running now, if the kid didn’t trash it.  But you get what you pay for, pretty much. 
I don’t know. 
That didn’t work very well either.  Pfth.

About comdude

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