Woe Is Me

Right there, the biggest graphic on the AT&T home page, is the iPhone4.  New toys for the yuppies and gang-bangers a like.  I saw a handwritten ad on the bulletin board in the laundrymat from someone who claims to know how to fix iPhones.  (Don’t tell me they break.)
So now, and this is news why?  Now the iPhone4 has antenna problems.  This is big news.  This is because so darn many people must have clicked high and low and promised all their credit to get one.  The antenna is junk.  It wraps around the edge and screws up your wireless 3G (or what ever) signal while you’re holding it.  But they have a fix.  It’s a rubber bumper that goes around the edge and covers the antenna. 
That makes it convenient because if you throw your iPhone4 it’s less likely to penetrate your victim.  It might even bounce a little bit off the pavement. 
I have not yet committed myself to smartphone technology.  I can’t even say I’d make the time to really get into it like these hard core iPhone people do.  But this is what got my attention.
This is a smartphone from Hewlett-PACKard.  It’s called the HP iPAQ Glisten.  As in, I’m PAQin’ heat, or I PAQ ur pussy.  Sorry, rated X, you must be 21, parental advisory.  Don’t ask me what thrills might come out of that little tiny screen.  I think it might make you go blind if you keep the 2-year data contract. 
We are getting ready for another few days of hundred-degree heat.  The last string of hundreds was miserable, mainly because I had to bury my kitty.  Yep, the kitty was experiencing kidney failure.  I mean I thought of all the things that might have contributed to her demise.  There was the anal gland issue.  Maybe she had an anal gland infection.  Or maybe it was all that cod liver oil that gave her a vitamin overload.  Or maybe it was because I let the kitty wander around in the back yard, where she discovered a pan of stagnant water with algae and mosquito larvae growing in it, and that sure tasted good.  Or maybe she got wurms from the fleas, because there are fleas back there and she got some.
Or maybe it was because she was 21 years old.  Often when an old kitty breaks down it’s due to kidney failure.  Any of those things might have accelerated it, but her age was probably the biggest thing she had going against her.  Every day has been a miracle, for years now.  But Saturday July 10, the light of my life went out, and the keeper of my heart took off with it.  No more Fancy Feast in the morning.  No more kitty in my lap when I’m trying to type.  No more fuzzy tummy.  I had to bury my puss. 
The boy kitties are very aware of all this.  According to my latest records, they have been here a decade, at least.  They were here when I had a terrarium with a green iguana in it.  They were here when my 85 lb. lab-shepherd puppy came in from the cold and slept on the love seat.  There was no time since they have been here that the ranking kitty was not here, determining their public policy and cramping their style.  So they know it’s different now without the kitty. 
I expect things may continue even though I have no light in my life and my heart is gone.  I seem to know plenty of people who have no light in their lives who are certainly heartless.  What these boy kitties don’t know yet is that they are in for a dose of Advantage, to kill off any residual fleas that might be lingering.  Fleas in the house are really annoying. 
Meanwhile I encourage disappointed iPhone4 owners to consider the value of their iPhone4 as a projectile, or better yet, as a target on the range. 

About comdude

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